Infinitely Positive — Hitting the next button!
There is something romantic about starting any journey! The fun of not knowing the experiences that the journey will throw on us and possibly positive surprises make a start exhilarating. I hope this phase prolongs forever. But yeah, we have something that we can hardly avoid and have to face no matter what, the reality.
While I started this journey of becoming ‘Infinitely Postive’ a couple of weeks back, my hope was significant. I was curious and looking forward to it. I have much of all that even now. As the last couple of weeks have seen some of the worst geopolitical tensions that the world has witnessed recently and being a global financial markets participant amid all this chaos, I couldn’t have started this journey of becoming ‘Infinitely positive’ at the right time. This wondering about the timing makes sense both with and without the tinge of sarcasm.
In the last couple of weeks, I survived the volatility in the financial markets and my thoughts. Though this might seem not so significant, I’m very proud of these. Maybe I’m realizing this just as I type this out! I wish that from now, I don’t miss a moment to appreciate myself and give myself a tap in the back for just surviving and holding myself through a tough time.
I’m a bit off from the routine in the last couple of weeks. I look forward to fixing those and getting back on my full-fledged routine in the coming weeks. Talking about my routine, one of the essential parts is my daily run!
I never used to be atheltic in most of my life. I have always been straddling between overly obese and just about obese all my life, until my mid-twenties. That was when I took up running and became quite serious about it. It helped me lose a lot of weight, get in shape, gain a lot of confidence which I pretty much carried forward till the start of the pandemic.
Being someone who is overtly infection conscious, for suffering an infectious bout of swine flu in my early years, going for a run during the pandemic was unfathomable for me. I could hardly step out of my home without my mask. Coupled with prolonged work hours and shunning my run and work-outs during almost the two years of the pandemic, it got me out of shape both in my body and mind. So when I intended to start this journey, it was a no-brainer for me to get back to running. I’m starting slow and steady with my running since the last month.
When I started my running years ago, I have always found listening to some music while I ran seemed to take off my focus on the exertion and made my running a better experience. So now, I invariably have Spotify as my companion as I run. The choices and the comfort that technology has given us are beyond any imagination. I would wait for a particular time slot on television or radio to listen to some music in my childhood. But this moment, technology enables me to hear that music I want to hear right now at this very second and even go further by ‘knowing’ the music that I would love to hear next.
I had a realization while I was running a few weeks before. When I simultaneously start my run and a Spotify playlist, I start with a song of my choice. Along the run, when the playlist gets to the next song, it was not always a pleasant change. Sometimes, that’s some music that I don’t admire. Sometimes, that’s music that doesn’t pace with my run. Sometimes, that’s music that has nothing wrong with it, but just that I need something different. As a reaction, I skip to the next song, and my thought and action loop repeats till I land in the music of my liking again. This happens every time the playlist gets to the next song. About every five minutes!
Probably we have all done this thousands of times in our lives. Hitting that next button (or a gesture or voice command to skip to the next song) is just simple. I started to notice something recently. I observed that the number of skips I was making every five minutes to listen to that song of my choice or liking increased slowly and steadily. Sometimes it tires me that I have to skip some songs every five minutes. Sometimes, it frustrates me that the shuffling algorithm is just working totally against me. Sometimes, it irritates me that this action gets me off my focus on running.
As I was starting my run, I took a simple decision as an experiment one fine morning. I just selected a playlist that I would possibly like and scrolled through the list to start with a song that would perhaps set the right pace for my run. I spent some time selecting the right playlist. I decided that no matter what, I would respect any song that the shuffling algorithm throws at me all along my run. I won’t skip to the next song, no matter what. I won’t make a judgment every time new music starts. I won’t let any music affect the pace and focus of my run. I will let go of the millions of choices at my disposal to skip to the next song but will accept any song from that playlist and listen through my run.
When I decided not to hit the next button anytime during my run and stuck the decision, no matter what, I started feeling that I was becoming a bit lighter during my run. My anxiety levels that peaked every time a song was about to end were visibly diminishing. I started appreciating the music more. While I think through this, this strikes me as both simple and profound. I’m not sure how many of you can relate to this. For some, this could be insignificant. But personally, this is beginning to bring a profound change in my thoughts.
We have so many options at our disposal to do anything. We have so many choices that we can make in anything. This is true for most significant or insignificant things, like just skipping to the next song in the playlist. But do we need to exercise all those options and choices? While exercising some options and choices help us a long way, are there so many options and choices that will make us better off without exercising them?
These are my curious thoughts. The answer could be different for different people. But for the person I’m, I’m beginning to feel that I will have to let go of many of my options and choices and be content with what comes in my way when those things are nothing but harmless. These are those things that I really shouldn’t care much about, but with my choices, I care so much about them. So can I care less about the insignificant things that I really shouldn’t care much? Let me think through and try.
I don’t have a skip button at my disposal for most fundamental things. For those with a skip button, let me consciously exercise that choice! So I’m slowly moving ahead in my journey, probably less anxious about what’s in the store next for me.